Love is:

There is a story behind my new love affair of the high heel.  Up till this year I have been ony wearing flats and running shoes.  Then I got this new casual business dress job and I had to wear more dressy shoes, enter the wedge.  I started there and then this pair is my first heel, high heel.   I love these shoes and wore them for their first time today.  They are Kumfs in amazing condition and I only paid $8.00 for them in a secondhand shop!

I feel longer and stronger and just feminine in these shoes.  I now have these, a gray pair, a red pair, a black cloth pair and my latest that I will try tomorrow a gorgeous blue leather which are the highest yet.  Scary but I will up date you on whether or not I break an ankle in them – fingers crossed I do not, as my broken ribs are more than enough at the moment!  Photo of the blue dreamy shoes to come.

I also fell in love with the London Fly shoes that I found in a little boutique shoe shop. These shoes are incredible and I must, simply must have a pair (yeah lets go with A pair).

 

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Woe is me, please set me be

I love my job. I work with people with disability, illness or injury to find work. Along the way they find pieces of themselves that being “disabled” in a society built and engineered toward the “normal” have gotten lost.  I live the philosophy of my employer. I believe every person has a unique skill, perspective or talent to by I g to an employer. The right person for the right job.

So why am I sitting on my bed, stressed and miserable, instead of at work? Doing what I believe in:

1) I have broken ribs and I haven’t stopped and looked after them. They hurt all the time. Way worse than fibro does at the moment. I need to rest.

2) I have had endless issues with a computer system from hell and yesterday it broke me. I couldn’t take one more phone call to the help desk for a short term if any fix. One more play nice instead of really saying what I meant.

3) I can’t breathe. I have hubby caring for my best interests at home, which I love. My work partner is also my personal trainer and I can’t breathe. I can’t be. Someone 8s always in my space, yammering or ordering or judging or just in my space. Can I shout ” look away!! Nothing to see”!!

4) Too many changes all at once. I have a full time job that is business and I dress differently and I often don’t recognise me. I went vegetarian. I went hard core work outs … as much as one can in this broken down body. My dad had a heart attack and a stroke and I discovered a well of anger at him. My blood brother can be Mary sunshine which is just fracking annoying and I feel disconnected and judged by my heart brother. Life is tough atm and much is self inflicted.

So one day at a time and don’t say the first though in my head. It is never going to be pc!!

In the blender

Day 7 —What sets you apart from the crowd?

I am not sure that anything sets me apart from the crowd.  I am 47, dress comfortably with no discernible fashion sense, overweight and walk with a limp from a recent hair line fracture of my left ankle.

I am not sure who or what the crowd is.  Is it people of my generation? or women? or people with disabilities?  When you read accounts from other people in similar circumstances, the stories can be very similar.

Does anything have to set me apart?  I might want to meld into the crowd. Be indistinguishable from anyone else.  Safe in my anonymity.  It might be my greatest wish to appear like the crowd and in that, be acceptable.