I lay awake and think of you

Looming close and over me

The dread, the pull, the fear

How not to give in to despair!


You come in weakness

You stay when I’m alone

You lurk within the dark

Leaving scars that mark


How I totally hate you

Despise you even more

Wish you a fiery end

No magic wand to amend


But that is not my reality

For you forever arrive

I can not walk around you

Meeting you is what I rue


What or who be you?

Don’t you yet know?

Its the future I fear

And it creeps ever near




I start my new job on Thursday. It’s exciting and perfect and me. But first I say goodbye to a job I have loved. I was doing okay till today. Then it hit me. This is my last weekend at the service station. I am sad.

Of course it has not all been good. My arthritic knee has deteriorated and some customers ate horror shows. But I found parts of myself I lost. I smiled again. I got social. I chatted and connected with people. My confidence returned. I love this job and tomorrow is my last solo shift, as I am training my replacement on my final shift.

I already foretell more tears. I have come to know some amazing people. I am so keeping in touch with them. I made the right decision but I am sad.

In the end ..

In the end we all stand alone

No more skills we can hone

This war is done

Death has won


In the end we have no choice

At our death some may rejoice

But some will miss us quite a lot

We are more than just an ink blot


On my tearful goodbye note

Words with their meaning rote

It was my silent, constant pain

My death can be my only gain


In the end there is an end

The single rule we can not bend

We join the throngs of those passed

Our death mask is finally cast


Our fate played out

No more life to tout

We fade into the memory

Step back, nothing to see