My husband suggested that I blog. He based his “nagging” on the fact that prior to writing my Masters thesis, writing was something I loved to do, on par with my love of reading. I have been in hibernation, I guess would be a description that is applicable, since I stopped having to attend university classes and no longer have a job to go to each day. The hibernation began when I walked away from my career in nursing in 2008. It was delayed with my husband goading me into returning to study. It seems a lot of the things that push me out of comfort zone and into public, or at least out of my bedroom and house are initiated by my husband.
This will be hard for me, writing that might be read by other people. I have my completed thesis and love showing off the binding but shudder at anyone actually reading it – to date I haven’t read it in its entirety, only the supervising lecturer has. I hate the intimacy that I always have with my writing that leaves me feeling exposed and vulnerable if someone else read it. There is a double hit of trying to keep it real so to speak and not retain my life mask of shrouding the reality of how I am feeling behind a look of “happiness” and attempting to blend. To be “normal” so to speak.
The format will be whatever I feel like exploring at the time. It may only ever be of interest to me but its out there. And the out there may prove therapeutic for me, one part of my reality that is no longer hidden. The topics will meander and include nursing, mental health, my studying experiences, my love of media studies and the theorists that contribute to that, my ongoing battle to not comfort eat, to not be obese and to keep moving, arthritis and fibromyalgia and if I get really brave PTSD, depression and anxiety. Of course there will be the light moments my beloved cats, books I read and the battle with the garden, World of Warcraft and pretty much whatever I am thinking about and can write honestly about.