Finally

So three Sundays ago I lost my concentration on the leg press and broke a rib or two, okay definitely two.  The first week I toughed it out.  Went swimming, worked and even worked out and it hurt soooo much.  I finally went to the doctor and yep as I thought snapped like a dry twig.  So for two weeks now I have not worked out and man it has been a right pain. I have gotten stressed out and without working out I turned to comfort eating, blowing all my hard work (this is unconfirmed until tomorrow when I bravely stand on the damn scales once more).  Tomorrow I finally get to work out again!!! Soooo what do I do today?  Aggravate my broken rib working in the jungle that is our “garden” (I so use that term loosely) and hurt both my knees.  Just sign me up for a rest home and reserve me that wheelchair!!

 

That jungle is exactly that every year.  Summer strolls round (or our best try at it! and last year we frigging failed abysmally, let me tell you – it was 8 good summer days and they were not consecutive!!  We kept beating the national rain average – every frigging season, no drought for us we were way beyond soggy into swampy!!),  I never learn.  I get them tidied up and then I let them down and boom summer arrives and hit repeat.  This year I have a full time job so I am going to dedicate some of it to buying mulch and putting in weed mat plus some actual plants in the sadder spots.  I have long suffering roses that have always stuck by me (or their thorns in me – poetic justice?)!  I can just see their blooms slightly ahead of the weeds populating the majority of the garden!!

 

Image result for images of leg press

Image source: http://physicalliving.com/qa-is-the-leg-press-a-safe-exercise-my-answer-may-surprise-you/     I have to go with no on this one!!

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Don’t stop being You!

I hurt for you and what you suffer

Not because you can’t bear the burden

But because I wish you didn’t have to

I know you won’t walk away or run

Where others might fear to tread

You settle in and seek to improve

I appreciate that you never lie

That what you say is what you do

I know I can trust you with anything

You give me succor and safety

The freedom to be who I need to be

Moments of such precious safety

After a lifetime of loss and fear

You are the pot at the end

Of that old faded rainbow

That I hunted for so very long

Huddled in the darkest shadows

Buried alive just barely there

You offer me a hand, a kindness

A gentle breeze after enduring

The hurricanes of eternal hell

There may be fires normally

But not for me, I’m special

I get you as my friend

So Don’t Stop Being You

 

I See You

*

In the deepest and darkest night

You choose to look inside yourself

You expect to find a horrid fright

But that is not what you found

*

Instead inside of thee, you see

A strength that is rock solid

Gifting others compassionately

But not in how you treat your self

*

The time has come to look inside

And rather than fail to see reality

Face the spirit from which you abide

Be the YOU that we have always seen

*

Take heart in what we say we see

Deeply ingrained strength in you

Beauty, kindness, strength, honesty

We see the real you and appreciate

*

I see you and wish you could too

How you are outside is just a piece

My love is for the inner you

The beauty that we all see

 

Musings

I lay awake and think of you

Looming close and over me

The dread, the pull, the fear

How not to give in to despair!

 

You come in weakness

You stay when I’m alone

You lurk within the dark

Leaving scars that mark

 

How I totally hate you

Despise you even more

Wish you a fiery end

No magic wand to amend

 

But that is not my reality

For you forever arrive

I can not walk around you

Meeting you is what I rue

 

What or who be you?

Don’t you yet know?

Its the future I fear

And it creeps ever near