EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing
I thought that CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – a talking therapy to manage your problems by changing how you think and behave) was my last chance to heal. I liked the homework and very structured approach but it didn’t work for me. I found it extremely depressing, seeing so much wrong and how much work. It meant that I began to experience hopelessness. I was also very closed off from my thoughts and at times I could not even figure out my trigger thought. Mindfulness made more sense for me.
I am trying to get into DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy – an offshoot of CBT) because I believe that some of the practices you learn within it offer more tools for my toolbox to defeat my depression and anxiety. Or at least learn how to manage it with less negative impact on my life. However, in NZ there are hardly any practitioners so I am on a never ending waiting list. I do work on some of these therapies on my own through book guides but doing it that way means that I have no feedback about whether it is effective or not.
So I am trying EMDR but with tapping not the rapid eye moments because that gave me a headache. I am in the initial stages but it seems to suit me. I can invoke my meditation skills to build the safe place required to move from there into trauma areas. Basically, this theory seeks to remove trauma memories from the forefront and resolve them in the same way that positive memories are. They may be present but not in the dominant way that they were previously.
I am hoping this is my way forward. I appreciate the calmer state of meditation and bringing mindfulness into play throughout my day. I want to be more present in my life without the shroud of my past over shadowing it.