Seeking Sign Post

Recently I have lost my way with my weight loss efforts.  Stress, injuries, lack of focus, medication withdrawals and generally poor decision making all contributed.  I found myself slipping into poor eating choices,  all the while arguing with myself to stop.  

I took a break from my meetings and my fitbit and just refocused.  I like how I look at 20+ kilos gone, so another 40 would be sensational.   I could try clothes on in “fancy” shops where I only push my nose against the window now.

I wore more fitted clothes that show off my new shape.  I almost gasped when I saw my reflection in a window.  My hips  have definition and my waist is much slimmer.  Normally I don’t notice but I need to, if I am to lose another 40 kilos.

I want to return to the gym.  I quit because I could not make myself go. I was ashamed at my weight gain and too depressed to make changes to address it. I believe I am ready now. My thinking is that I can go to the gym when I feel trapped.  Burn off the feeling with physical exertion, instead of thoughts tumbling  around my head.

I dreamt about working out and woke hungry for it.  I have some basic gear at home but I believe I need the social aspect of other people being present.   I don’t need to engage them, just their presence helps me battle my agoraphobia.

I will think some more on this and let you know the outcome!

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