Recently I have lost my way with my weight loss efforts. Stress, injuries, lack of focus, medication withdrawals and generally poor decision making all contributed. I found myself slipping into poor eating choices, all the while arguing with myself to stop.
I took a break from my meetings and my fitbit and just refocused. I like how I look at 20+ kilos gone, so another 40 would be sensational. I could try clothes on in “fancy” shops where I only push my nose against the window now.
I wore more fitted clothes that show off my new shape. I almost gasped when I saw my reflection in a window. My hips have definition and my waist is much slimmer. Normally I don’t notice but I need to, if I am to lose another 40 kilos.
I want to return to the gym. I quit because I could not make myself go. I was ashamed at my weight gain and too depressed to make changes to address it. I believe I am ready now. My thinking is that I can go to the gym when I feel trapped. Burn off the feeling with physical exertion, instead of thoughts tumbling around my head.
I dreamt about working out and woke hungry for it. I have some basic gear at home but I believe I need the social aspect of other people being present. I don’t need to engage them, just their presence helps me battle my agoraphobia.
I will think some more on this and let you know the outcome!