This time tomorrow I will have my tattoo on my upper right arm. This is my first tattoo (lol already know what my second and third are LOL). I know the exact spot that I am putting it on and hope the tattoo works for that spot. I am excited because from this time forward I will be looking at my tattoo and not “the mark” that was forced on me. I know “the mark” has faded over time but I still see it as fresh as ever.
I tried writing on my arm that it was “mine” or “not mine” – depending on the therapeutic approach but that didn’t really work for me. So for years I have been designing my tattoo. And I am not using any of my designs LOL – typical. Who knew a tattoo would be like a speech for me lol.
The design I went with has two two objects that speak to me. When I see them their presence will strengthen me. The first is a semi colon that is part of my acknowledging my anxiety, PTSD, depression and fibromyalgia. It will be the only coloured element. I wanted a jade semi colon because my story isn’t over and as long as someone is alive to remember her, neither is my niece Jade’s (we lost her at 6).
The second object is a butterfly. I love the monarch butterfly but didn’t want the colours, it will be black. The final design will be up to the tattoo guy and what he thinks works on my arm and where I want it placed. The butterfly is also symbolic of Jade because I always think of her when I see a butterfly and think of Celine Dion’s song Fly, that she wrote in the passing of her niece. But it also represents my wanting to fly free of my past which has been like an anchor around my neck.
“Fly” (Song Source)
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven’s love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem’ry bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear
Don’t waste a breath, don’t shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don’t wait for me
Above the universe you’ll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won’t forget
Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light
Wish me luck, that the tattoo is as perfect as I want it to be!!!