A letter about something you wish you could do over

Dear Diary

I was asked to write a letter about something I wish I could change.  There are so many things I might consider changing that writing just a single one left me clueless.  In the spirit of wanting to live my life in a mindful manner I am going to address the idea of changing something from the past as opposed to proposing an actual change.

Mindfulness requires acceptance and I believe that part of that is accepting the past without any judgement that hindsight provides.  I accept that I had a really vicious boyfriend whose mind games and physical abuse remains an entrenched scar on my life.  I do not judge who I was during and immediately after that because I survived the best way I could.  It means I am not looking to change my past to make my now easier.  I am seeking to simply accept it as my past.

I did begin a letter with the desire to change how my nursing career began and ended.  But the reality is that it happened and if it hadn’t I would not have my Masters.  I would not have met and had the privilege of knowing Scott.  I would not have a chapter in with a publisher that I am proud of (the publisher and the chapter !).  I would not have had the empathy to help the clients I was able to while nursing.  I could keep going but this does not ignore the pain of not nursing.  But this situation is not all negative nor all positive.  It just is.

So Diary, I know you might have been waiting for a juicy confession with high drama as I sought a safe and logical way to rewrite my past.  Sorry for the disappointment!

Maybe next time!






What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s