The final words …

Day 29 —You are at a cemetery reading gravestones.  Write about one of the people you find.

It is amazing how many gravestones are at the cemetery.  Each of them have their own personal message.  I am never sure if those messages are what the deceased person wanted or met the needs of their family.

I know that writing the inscription for my Nana’s tombstone was hard.  We wanted the exact perfect words so that anyone reading them, that did not know her, would understand how important she was to us.  Which really makes no sense.  The only person that needed to know how what she meant to each of us was her.  Anyone else not so much.  I remember we worried about silly things like the wording and did the gravestone “look” like Nana.  I guess it was the last thing we could do for her and we needed it to be right, more for us than for Nana.

It was an even harder time for my brother, when he had to find the tombstone and the words for his daughter.  The decision was compounded by the fact that he and his ex – partner did not get on, an argument that was fed by the tragic emotion of this situation. How do you find anything remotely perfect for a death that was unfathomable?  I do not believe that the essence of the people we lose are held in any way at the graveside. Instead I think those that loved them keep part of that person with them.  It is how they continue to be a part of our lives, we remember them and in that way, we continue to include them.

It did not feel right to make up a story about someone and their tombstone inscription. For me, that is their story and I wouldn’t want to change it by adding my own made up story.


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