I went swimming on a public beach today. I had a long top over my one piece swimsuit but I took that off when it got water logged. So I was pretty much the most exposed in public that I have been for a long time. What surprised me is that after an initial panic at how many people were on the beach I just did my thing and I enjoyed it. I even got hubby to snap a photo of me in my togs after the swim.
I am pushing myself to wear what I like. I am wearing what makes me comfortable and not taking into account the potential views or opinions of people that see me wearing them. My objective is to accept me as I am, no matter the shape or size. To wear what I am comfortable in and to just let it be.
I have to make this work because when I lose weight the issue of compliments on my changed shape come into play. I just panic at a compliment on my body. To them it is an acknowledgement that I have achieved something, they mean it as a positive thing. For me it represents that someone was watching me enough to note my changing shape and that makes me anxious. For this lifestyle to become a permanent change rather than a diet fad I need to come to grips with my body image issues.e
I won’t always blog on this weight loss journey and I certainly am not going to post the photo from the beach here, I don’t feel quite that brave. The photo is on the private weight watchers site as encouragement for me to be comfortable as I am. For this blog very now and then I might discuss an intention or an insight gained.