On the first day of Christmas
my true love gave to me …
Hold up..
there are days of Christmas?
25 gifts not just one?
And you expect one now?

Jingle bells, Jingle bells
Omg if I hear those bells
One more frigging time
I will melt them down
Now try ringing them!!

Dashing through the snow
Really, what snow?
It’s summer here
We might get rain, maybe
But then poor bar be ques

Silent night, holy night
And yet people drink
Toasting one another
Over and over
Lest we forget the season

Deck the halls 
Is that optional?
Can I deck someone
Not something?
Maybe hear the whole line first

I have some spirit
Not sure it is Christmas
But it lights my soul
And makes me smile
A treasure in itself

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