SAVE ME

I want to burn off the anger at my infirmity
The pain, infection, weakness and loss 
If I use enough words they will take the sting
And yet, here I am, still composing, and angry

I can’t …[you can list everything here]
Six weeks of this and I will be insane 
Hubby having to do everything is not fair 
Any self worth I held is just  … gone

I am lost to what can I do from bed 
It seems I can spew out countless words 
I can yell vitriol at my hapless hubby 
I avoid online friends while in this mood

The words line up as I rigidly demand 
While everyone else scatters to safety 
Out of hearing range, I can’t reach them 
I just want to scream until my relief

I am so damn unlucky, cursed even 
I was finally looking after myself  
Now everything is threads around me  
Knotted, lacking grace and structured form

I was knitting, purl one, knit one, repeat
My life construction weathering storms  
But this may finally sink my fragile vessel 
The skin, yet too thin to resist these trials

Mixing metaphors, many random words 
That seem content to lead, not follow 
I have thus lost all directional control 
I may as well float with the current

At least it is not “past” controlled & led 
I haven’t given up all the ground won 
Just why?, why?, can it not be easier?
A pat on the back, not a vicious slap

Why can’t it be a path of rose buds?
Instead of discarded thorn & stems 
Why can’t I glide smoothly, my way?
Instead of deep grooves and cliff’s

I am just so angry tonight, day two 
A further frigging forty to endure  
And only then if it all heals well    
Do you rate my chance of that?

Thanks for reading my slew of words  
Seemingly endless rambling forth   
Give me some topics, words to play with
Please help me, 40 days, to while away

Give me unknown topics, I have to research
Give me your favourite words and verse count
Save me, from myself all moody, grumpy grey
Give me a purpose, a use, to pass the days

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