Junk Food Journey

Pour Some Sugar on Me

What is your favorite sweet thing to eat? Bread pudding? Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies? A smooth and creamy piece of cheesecake? Tell us all about the anticipation and delight of eating your favorite dessert. Not into sweets? Tell us all about your weakness for that certain salty snack.

I am not really a sweet eater, although I can crave chocolate at odd times. I am finding that the Atkins chocolate bar is perfect for me.  Not too sweet, low carbs (perfect for the Atkins diet) and it tastes yummy.  I love buying the bar and watching it slip through the other groceries to settle on a flat surfaced item in the shopping trolley.  I keep sight of it as I put more items into the trolley.  Among all those necessity, but boring items like the vegies, toilet paper and cat food.

I go home, trudge up the stairs with my arms dragged down with the groceries, huffing and puffing.  I put everything away until at last I find my chocolate bar.  It is a single chocolate bar because otherwise I will gobble up as many as I have (compulsive elimination of any remotely junk food within my home syndrome-if its not there then I can’t eat it).  In the gobbling I miss the pleasure of the rare single and it becomes just a compulsion and not a treat to be savoured.

I sit on my couch and rip the top of the bar – although it can seem like a ravaging horde attacked it and the damn thing still resists.  I grab the scissors and gain access.  That first hit of chocolate scent is orgasmic.  The scent sweet and a touch of forbidden lusts.  I inhale deeply letting the smell wrap around my senses.  Then I ease the chocolate bar up the top of the packet and take that first bite.  The brown of the bar glistens, so very, very alluring.

The taste hits me hard, its soooo good.  Its smooth and silky, with a yummy flavour that coats my tongue and oozes over my teeth before it slides down my throat.  I chew slowly to release as much flavour as I can. To suck as much of the taste into my very pores.  Not knowing when my taste buds will get this treat again.  I finish the bar off in this first sitting, no matter how much I tell myself that I will save some for tomorrow (just not gonna happen, but I keep the fantasy of possibility alive).

Now my love of salty is far more developed.  I love, love pork cracking and salt ‘n’ vinegar chips.  The crackling in chip form is a new love, that fits in with my Atkins diet, while the s’n’v chips are pure, bad junk food but a life long love of mine.  No matter how sick I have been I could always eat those chips.  I love licking the salt off the chip, my tongue running into its groves (one at a time and yes I will eat the whole packet but its one chip at a time).  It can be perfectly matched with an onion dip made with reduced cream and vinegar.

I love the sharpness of the chip, when the salt hits any sore parts in my gums.  I love that as long as I bite into the chip soon after the licking it remains crunchy.  That first bite and loud crunch is very satisfying and then I get to repeat it over and over to the bottom of the bag.  I am careful to lose none of salt granules and I must admit after awhile, a really sharp bag can leave my tongue singing and my gums / lips numb.

If I have dip I lick the chip as usual (so for hygiene purposes, of course, only I can have that bowl of dip – the sacrifices we have to make).  Then I coat the chip in the dip and lick the dip off in the same method as the salt. Savouring the smooth dip with lumps of onion on the chippie is just divine.  The mixing of the flavours is perfect, this dip and those chippies were created to be consumed together.  French onion soup can be a tasty alternative and lemon juice substituting the vinegar.

At the end of this salty salute to my taste buds I rip the bag further and seek out all the salt in the bottom of the bag.  Like a carrion bird who spots a fine feast below I clean the carcass of the chippie bag.  The process of munching the cracking is the same.  I just love licking the salty flavour and quickly biting into the crisp structure.  Just yum yum yum.

Now I am really craving salt’n’vinegar chips.  I haven’t had any in about a month, since I began the Atkins diet (I really need to lose a lot of weight). But I really want them, right NOW.  In April 2015, I wrote of my love of junk food:

Ode to my expanding waistline

I really want some junk food, some very specific old favourites:

Oh let me taste “the real thing”, beloved Coke
Let the cool liquid slide down my throat
Let my nose be tickled by the bubbles
I salivate at the images this creates

Oh let me taste the salt and vinegar chip
Let me suck the salt from within your ridges
Let me bite down with a resounding crunch
I lick my lips at the mere thought

Oh let me accompany the exalted chip with dip
Onion soup, reduced cream + vinegar combined
Lumpy and smooth it glides on the chip
I reach for my car keys shaking in the desire

And there it is – my trio of doom
Comfort in the taste and textures
But also weight in the consumption
Guilt in the giving in to the need

Will definitely edit but must go to the supermarket for … bread … yes bread. Denial is rampant at this time. Hope you enjoyed it

I believe this poem resulted in an emergency run to the supermarket (for the bread that was stated at the time and I dare you to prove otherwise) and this post appears to be going the same way.  Or not .. it won’t be my self control (have none) but my lack of mobility with the recent hairline fracture in my left ankle, that prevents my going out and getting the beloved comfort and treat foods.  So I can indulge my cravings in my mind but unless I can convince my hubby to get them, they will not be sated.

I am not sure running the whole process through my imagination is helping or hurting.  But I can almost smell the chips with my scent starved nose, taste the salt on my parched lips and feel the dip coated chip slip between my lips, to be saluted with a triumphant chomp.  Hell, I may have to bribe hubby!!



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