Posted in Poetry

Shhh … this is about suicide

Background:  Just to be clear, at the time of writing this I am not suicidal. I have been in the past and this is just airing some thoughts.  While I do not believe that discussing suicide creates the act, this is fair warning of this content.  Read at your own risk.

 

Shhh … this is about suicide

Talking about suicide is considered societally taboo

Assuming thought become actions, that hurt you

But is that a fact or simply what society claim true?

Should we, in feeling like that, hide our reality from view?

In the period before dying

Are our final days marked by lying?

When we reply that we are fine

Our reality, we just can not define

In the aftermath with mourning, regretful crying

Do they wish they had continued trying?

Did you hear the response you wanted for your busy life?

Never realising the degree to which we were in strife

The air is full of the rotting stench of blame

Despite the suicide note, family feuds aflame

The eyes of society, lowered for the shame

This act engenders a societal, notorious fame

They say suicide attempts are an attention seek

That in doing so ,the person demonstrates being weak

The silence in their pain can be seen as them being meek

They, unable to contain emotions that continue to leak

I choose to suicide, I want to die

I am ready for that final goodbye

In this moment I do not, can not think of you

That would require a major mood breakthrough

Your role in this, is, as always

You are, who I let you be, in my life

Try to listen through the lies haze

The signs pointing to suicide, may be rife

Note:   This is disjointed and I will return to it and possibly make more than one poem from it.  Feel free to give me any advice.

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Author:

I was 46 years old when I begun this blog, female and married with a house full of cats (7). My past is littered with the impact of events that happened when I was a teen. Two loves of my life have been nursing and studying. I just completed my Master of Arts: Media Studies endorsement. My blog will be about the things I think about, that might be better served being written rather than squirreled away in my mind festering. It is the meanderings of my mind as I seek to define myself and my world.

2 thoughts on “Shhh … this is about suicide

  1. Suicide should definitely be talked about. People should never be ashamed of their struggles. Your poem was raw and emotional, it gave me a better understanding of the feelings a suicidal person goes through; these are strong feelings to overcome. If it’s not too personal, what was the thing/things that gave you the strength to go on?

    Like

    1. In a lot of cases I survived the overdose and had to rebuild my life. There are people that just held me up when I would fall. Like my hubby, heart brother and family. But in that moment of suicidality I never thought of anything but the pain I was in or the peace I thought death would bring. Now, I have medication that is working and I am spending time finding out who I am. Mindfulness works for me and meditation. My last serious suicide attempt was not long enough ago to be fully comfortable but I am getting there. My blog will have the past, the now and the future. There won’t be any lies left buried under heavy rocks over time. Thanks for commenting and the question.

      Liked by 1 person

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