I feel the wrecked remnants of my physical conditions
Arthritis means my knees sound like rusty hinges
Fibromyalgia means pain is never absent for me
A brain tumour plays havoc on my hormones
I am the wretched waste of my mental illnesses
I have an eating disorder that demands service
I walk in the shadow of my trauma, haunting me
Anxiety is like a sliver under my skin, prodding me
I was wrenched out of a false life by reality
The shattered pieces of a beloved career
No sense of purpose in every breath
The pain of failing in every aspect
I am writhing in the claws of disappointment
Tortured in long moments of thinking what if?
What if I had never walked away but persevered
Isn’t a fake life being better than none at all?
I am not feeling as wretched as this poem implies – just a bad day and my mind records it in a poem lol.