Posted in Poetry

Wisps of Sound

i

I appreciate the support of those that listen to me and hold me close

But they are not there when my mind whispers deep ugly secrets

I can not escape the whispering of my mind, the past echoes loudly

The words of a friend can clash with the whispers but never erase them

ii

Rarely shared because no one can walk in my shoes, or hear my whispers

Those that do emphathise, hear their own words that have marked their lives

Likes scars that never heal, they bleed their ugliness onto every sense

Reality gradually fades forcing you to live more within your own mind

iii

You can distract them, for a time, direct them elsewhere, into math or music

Something the mind can immerse in that can dislodge the resident noise

But they always return, insipid and resistant to any long term persuasion

It never ends, never, not completely and it wears away any enjoyment of life

iv

If I were a plant, the memories would strangle like ivy, clinging to every surface

If I were a bird, the weight would end my ability to fly, grounded in misery

As a human, I can drown in their resonance, the sound deafening, intense

If I were a plant I would dig deep into the soil to gain my grounding to now

v

My past is so much a part of my present, when and if, I let it be

The good, the bad and the truly hidden ugly, desperate to be forgot

A part of the present in their persistent presence in my mind’s words

Whispers that drive me to the edge of sanity, seduced by suicidiality

vi

But I am strong, since the fight that I now fight is from within me

So I need to manage/accept what I merely suppressed in the past

So that my future flies free of the burden of an unresolved past

So that I am centered in me, reflective but not bogged down

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Author:

I was 46 years old when I begun this blog, female and married with a house full of cats (7). My past is littered with the impact of events that happened when I was a teen. Two loves of my life have been nursing and studying. I just completed my Master of Arts: Media Studies endorsement. My blog will be about the things I think about, that might be better served being written rather than squirreled away in my mind festering. It is the meanderings of my mind as I seek to define myself and my world.

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