Who knew that death was like processing groceries at the checkout. Literally. I was standing on a conveyor belt and instead of food being scanned to generate the till receipt it was cause of death added to the growing list. As I looked side to side I could see an endless row of checkouts and people queuing for their turn. You could hear the cause of death: “drowning”, “car accident” and one I long thought should be an official cause of death “stupidity”.
My turn comes and I am so excited, worried that I might actually jump out of my skin. I have no idea what is possible here, its all new to me. It is a little odd in the circumstances to be excited to discover my cause of death, after I am dead. Maybe I skipped all the stages of grieving and am in denial and just pretending to go along with it. Whatever. I had always wondered if in the seconds prior to my death if I would know what killed me. Didn’t think I would be “told” immediately after in a supermarket – like setting.
HUH. Not the cause of my death I would have bet on. Wonder how many other people had a HUH moment when they learn what actually killed them or have the urge to yell “I knew it wasn’t smoking or some other societally guilt laden activity, followed by suck on that!!”. I feel disappointed. I return my focus to what is happening around me and if, like at the supermarket, as a bag of groceries I will be picked up.
The conveyor belt stops in front of a sign that looks like the community boards at the supermarket. I do wonder if this setting is to reduce the alarm of the recently deceased and if so its just weird as all hell. I hope it isn’t an ending of my creation, I would prefer a book store and personal assistance – is there a complaints department? The sign has labels on it, with what appears to be potential jobs going forward. Who knew we could have a choice. Being dead is more interesting than I thought it would be.
The categories include, but are not limited to Rebirth, but no hint as to what and I am not risking becoming a snail or born into some intense political situation; Ghost – which has a lot of sub – categories, like haunting, vocal, fixed abode and one I liked that included aggravating psychics and mediums etc etc – which might be fun; and the religious options sub titled under specific religions – which means everyone was technically correct in their assertions about the afterlife – nice.
I watch people choose their label and just poof. But I stand there blocking my queue with the same dilemma as in life but this time what to do with myself in death. It is kind of annoying that the big questions remain. There is one category that entices me to select it – “words”. Again there is no hint of what happens but since I had a lifelong love of them, why not continue the passion in death.
As I poof, I hear the “about time” rumblings from behind me and think of a few choice words to reply with. Before I can, I feel myself break into millions of letters. Then reforming into words, sentences, speeches, Facebook statuses, blogs and then reforming into a new purpose. HUH, its true every thing has been said before – literally!!! Not a bad way to spend eternity – spreading the word.