I haven’t written for a while. It is a combination of the mood that I had been in, which I realised when I read my dark poetry. The other component is the medication that I am now taking for the often crippling anxiety that I experience. Both have made me feel like I was having any creativity I possessed sucked out of me.
The medication has calmed my mind down. I have periods of stillness that were lacking previously. I can enjoy laying on the lawn and having the cats collapse near me. It is especially gratifying now that we have tamed the lawns and main gardens. There is still a lot to do but we can sit outside and enjoy the work we have completed.
Any medication can alter how you feel and thus are in the world. I am getting used to this new me. I am unfamiliar with the pool of calmness that now centers me and allows me to interrupt burgeoning panic attacks. I can still stress but it is manageable.
I recently got recommended this article and found it very insightful:
Thank you Julian K for bringing this too my attention.
So this is my first writing effort in a while and it is going to be short as I am still not sure what to write, let alone how. I will try and write each day because somewhere deep inside me, remains my love of writing. I just have to find it.