Clear sighted

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I got my new glasses today. There are two pairs, the first is my new reading specific glasses rather than progressives, like I previously had. They are much stronger and were probably required subsequent to all the reading and writing that I have done for the last few years while studying. I read for knowledge and for enjoyment. It is my favourite leisure activity.

The second pair were prescription sunglasses with a brown tint. They are so clear in the sun and help with the glare from the lighting in places like the mall. I have always worn fit overs and there is a vast difference between wearing two pairs of glasses to just one. I still like the wrap around effect of fit overs on days I have a migraine but all other times I will be in the new ones admiring the view.

Getting the glasses did more than just improve my vision, it boosted my self esteem. Hubby selected the glasses that were recommended and looked great, rather than the cheapest ones that would have worked as well(and I would have gone for since I am not working). A lot of my self esteem was/is tied into my job and being able to independently support myself. My career defined me. These days it is the little things that boost my self esteem, like hubby making sure I got glasses that would make me smile.

Clear sighted seems to be a simple context. The glasses help me see clearer but the reality is that perception can moderate even the strongest glasses. How I am perceived, compared to how I feel or am, in fact, seeing myself. One example is my masters, I know I did the work and earned the qualification and I have a whopping big book that bears my name, attesting to my work. But it feels distant to me, I struggle to feel the pride and sense of accomplishment that I should. I believe hubby is prouder and struggles to understand why I can’t feel it the same way.

Part of the purpose of this blog is for me to see clearly, with glasses or not. To see my life as it really is. To really see the good and the bad and respond in an appropriate manner. I used the word appropriate because I believe the responses should be based on my life and reality not a false acceptance of “normal”. Normal for me may be that I am always quiet about my masters but it would be nice if I felt I could be comfortable with someone else reading it, rather than simply offering the view of the fantastic binding.

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